Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Episode 17: Surviving Your Special Day

So! You're getting married!


Not getting married... step three is for you guys!

We here at the spring sale blog would like to offer you a few helpful tips for stress free budget-friendly weddings. If you follow our 4-step fool-proof program your blissful nuptials are sure to be spoken of in hushed and reverent tones for years to come.

STEP 1: Satin
Bridezilla...eat your heart out!

Munch, munch, munch.

STEP 2: Chainmail
Good for fending off snarky relatives, rabid children dressed in tulle, and the wayward peacock.

STEP 3: Vodka ...or if you attended Erica's wedding "imported Russian water"

Good for non blissful occasions as well.
* Note this site does not support the unabashed drinking of alcoholic beverages, despite what step three may have indicated to you... you bunch of lushes. We just thought the bottles were pretty colors. ;)

STEP 4: Rockin' don't-mess-with-me headgear

Veils +3 damage to wayward marzipan fruit and the pointy bits can be used to threaten rioting single ladies during bouquet toss AKA BLOODSPORT3.

In case you military types are feeling left out, crowd control always makes for an excellent wedding gift. Riot gear a plus. You might even meet some nice girls!

Not to be left out we bring you our bridal "WTD"
Behold: we have no words!

However if we could bring ourselves to find some words they might be, "Who the heck thought butt bows were sexy?! Why God Why?"

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