Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Bacchanailed It! Slap-dash Classicism and the Yard Sale


One day long ago, on a sunny hilltop bespeckled with olive trees and golden apples, some toga-clad, somewhat mentally-unhinged deity thought: "Gosh, I'm bored. Perhaps I should go find some poor sap, wreck up his life, and laugh mercilessly as he tries to fix it. Yes, this sounds like an excellent use of my time. But where ever shall I find this unfortunate soul?"



Ah, there's one now.

The poor sap...er, uh...mighty gladiator prepares for battle...
 
An armored gladiator is a prepared gladiator. Hey, you might be getting picked on by the gods for their own amusement, but at least you look like 100 Proof Distilled Awesome.
Elsewhere in the Colosseum, animal trainers get the lions ready for deadly combat.
Is this the end for our hero???? Have the forces of mentally-unhingedness won???
In a stunning turn of events, our hero turns the tables on his ferocious feline opponent. Nuts to you, mandated destiny!*


The moment of decision.
The crowd was shocked. Shocked, we say.


Things were about to get out of hand, when suddenly, out of nowhere, arrived  Dionysus, well-known god of merry-making, youth, general debauchery, and post-game parties.


Even our mentally-unhinged deity friend got a party invite and she was so happy everything worked out.  You see what I did there? That's right: Deus Ex Machina- Now available in strawberry!



*No animals or crew-persons were harmed in the making of this photo spread. There was a tense minute with that metal armor but everyone pulled through.

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